Xavid (kihou) wrote,
Xavid
kihou

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A Tree or A Gull

So, yesterday [which isn't yesterday anymore because I didn't have internet when I was writing this, so really Saturday] was... interesting. Early in the morning my grandparents left, and then we started getting ready for the party we were doing with krint01's family. The party went well: some nifty people were there, we rewatched The Worst Movie Ever, and we played DDR. Oh, and we started a new anti-Scientologist religion somewhere in there.

Sunday involved Dim Sum/Freilichs, ramune/ラムネ, the lacking of Apollos, fiddling with OS X, rapier, and forgetfulness with reference to glasses. I either need to get a better memory or at least start needing glasses enough so I notice when I'm not wearing them.

Today was marked by a nose checkup (I'm free!) and D&D. I think I just barely managed to get Ray kidnapped, but knowing my luck Cirabel will get like 17 natural 20s in a row and rescue her... 仕方がない…

This is just because it's silly, and seemed like the most likely reason someone would ever stalk me, excepting of course someone trying to kill me.
kihou's LJ stalker is agentfroot!
agentfroot is stalking you because they have you confused with someone else whom they love. They are also mentally deranged!


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[Continuity note: the following was written last night, before the last three paragraphs.]

Storms are a good time for introspection, I guess... I've probably been getting some backlash from not getting very worked up at graduation. I keep thinking about things like Jenny, and Japan, and childhood, and Z, and I wonder where I'm really going, why I must be red. I was looking at "A Quiet Memory" again today, after several months, and it seemed strange and almost uncanny; I just now realized that it contains or responds to all the themes I listed there, that it's actually a lot more about me than I thought when I was writing it. Uncertainty about death isn't what first made me turn to religion, but I guess it's always been there, a little. I should really try to make my way out to the Temple again, sometime; or perhaps try doing zazen at home. Back when I was more of a child, I used to think I'd never have any, and now I tend to idealize them; I don't want part of me to fade away... but what do I really take from YM? What do I really take from Jenny? The last conversation we had was about plovers... now I've got a song, but I don't want to listen to it, to catch it, as if looking at it makes it go away. That's the problem I tend to have with religion: when I look directly at religion or reality, I always have the foreboding that the other is about to shatter. Sometimes it is difficult to believe in everything... but there are some people that just make it possible. 千鳥の人はいつも見張りましょう。
I've mostly gotten over boy scouts now, at least to the point of ignoring it, but I've been reflecting that SCA is what I believe boy scouts should have been, should be. The leadership is there, but it is the ordinary people, even those without arms or duties, who act with chivalry selflessly to help other people because it's what they want to be doing. It makes me less cynical to see that there is at least some refuge where real people can go of their own spirit to maintain something I had lost and thought lost. For me, at least, it is the people who make a world.
As the storm passes, so may our sorrows; as the droplets fall, so may we rise.
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